MEDICAL LOVE SONG
I just figured this one out and couldn't keep it to myself. Enjoy.

Very softly fingerpicked:

VERSE:
      D                         A
Inflammation of the foreskin reminds of your smile
         A                         D
I've had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while
  Bm                        Fm
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June
  E                              A
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon 


[Now play chords quick and choppy]: 

   D                            A
My penile warts your herpes, my syphilitic sores
     A                         D   
Your moenelial infetion, how I miss you more and more
     Bm                           Fm
Your dnob's itch my scrumpox, our lovely gonorrhoea
   E                                A
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear 


    D                          A
Our syphilic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst
    A                               D 
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist
     Bm                    Fm
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine
      E                                A
I got snail tracks in my anus when you spirochaetes met mine 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
D                   A
Gonoccalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis,
A                 D           E     A
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
D            A
Epididymitis interstitial keratitis,
A                          D        E  A
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
BACK TO THE VERSES:

D                           A
My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
           A                      D
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee
   Bm                                Fm
My doctor says my blue balls are the worst he's ever seen
   E                               A
My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green 


D                                  A
My heart is vert tender though the parts are awful raw
    A                                D
You might have been infected but you never were a bore
    Bm                                    Fm
I'm dying of your love, my love, I'm your spirochaetal clown
     E                                A       
I've left my body to science but I'm afraid they've turned it down 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
D                   A
Gonoccalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis,
A                 D           E     A
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
D            A
Epididymitis interstitial keratitis,
A                          D        E  A
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis.